How to Pray – 4. Ask for Forgiveness
As we come before God, we need to pray for forgiveness, confessing our wrongs before God, since we all fail often.
- Ask for Forgiveness from God
Praying, in a simple way of describing, is communicating with God. Yet, one thing that can break this relationship is our sins which we all have. What mends this broken relationship is forgiveness.
As such, it will not be wrong to say this is the most vital part of prayer, that is, to reconnect any broken link between us and God.
God has cleansed our sins and forgiven us through the death of Lord Jesus Christ, if we believe and receive that He died for our sins on the cross.
However, since we continuously tend to fall, make mistakes, and sin, we are to confess to God our wrongs so that God can continue to forgive and cleanse us.
- 1 John 1:9, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (WEB)
This means if we have sinned and we are aware of our own wrongs but chose not to come to God asking for forgiveness, we will not be forgiven or cleansed. Since sin separates us from God, when our sins remain it blocks us from God. It does not mean God does not want to receive us, because God has already given us the way to come to God, but by not coming clean with God about our sins, we are basically choosing not to come to God. In a way, we are the one rejecting God.
So we need to come before God confessing our wrongs, and asking for His forgiveness and cleansing for our sins we committed whether consciously or unconsciously.
Do not let prayers and relationship with God be hindered by our wrongs.
- Psalms 66:18
If I cherished sin in my heart, the Lord wouldn’t have listened. (WEB)
God receives those who sincerely come to Him in brokenness and with contrite heart, because God knows when one comes with true repentant heart.
- When king David committed horrible sins, God still received him and forgave him because he came to God to confess with broken and contrite heart.
2 Samuel 12:13, So David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” (WEB)
Psalms 51:1~2 (David’s Psalm after he sinned) Have mercy on me, God, according to your loving kindness.
According to the multitude of your tender mercies, blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity. Cleanse me from my sin.
Psalms 51:17, The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit. O God, you will not despise a broken and contrite heart. (WEB)
- Luke 18:9~14, Lord Jesus tells us about tax collector (mostly viewed as cheater, and may have been considered a traitor of nation) coming before God confessing sin was received by God more than another man who seemed to have done everything right but exalted himself instead of humbling himself.
Luke 18:13, tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
… went home justified before God.
Does asking for forgiveness always have to be at the start of prayer?
Personally, I do not always put asking for forgiveness at the beginning part of daily prayer. Of course there are times where I believe it might have to be right at the start of prayer, especially when it is hindering us from coming to God, or progressing in communication with God. Yet, other times I find it is more important to focus on God, what God is saying, and ask for even other things prior to even asking for forgiveness. This is what we find when we look at how Lord Jesus taught disciples how to pray in Book of Matthew 6:9 onwards. But one thing for sure, we should alway remember to ask God for forgiveness and cleanse us from our sins and guilt.
Believe and Receive
When we have confessed our sins and asked for God’s forgiveness, we have to believe and receive it. We need to believe that through the price that Lord Jesus Christ has paid, suffering, shedding His blood, and dying on the cross for our sins, we are cleansed. Father God forgives us as we receive what Christ has done for us, and as we come forth to acknowledge, confess and repent, asking for forgiveness. (1 John 1:9).
However, that does not mean the guilt, regrets, sorrow, feeling like failure and disappointing God will just go away immediately all the time. There may be times it lingers around, and we still do not feel good.
On one hand, it is good that sometimes we are sorrowful, realizing our wrongs, so that we can avoid and shun away from sins. But on the other hand, God does not want us to live in guilt, feeling down and miserable all the time. Especially if those are hindering us from coming to God, then that is not what God desires.
We need to believe that when we come to God and ask for forgiveness sincerely from our heart, God forgives and receives us. We need to receive God’s forgiveness. God sent His Only Son, Christ Jesus to set us free from sin, and not make us bound by guilt and live in misery.
At times, we may feel horrible that we keep failing. Nevertheless, we need to understand that it is God who can help us overcome our weakness. So we need to hope and lean on God, and not our own strength.
Remember, the story of a prodigal son, who thought his father would not receive him. Yet, when he returned, the father from far away saw him and ran to hug him. While he must have been unrecognizable, still the father knew it was his son. How? The father never forgot the son. He must have been watching to see if his son is coming back. Furthermore, the son must have been wearing rags and must have smelled the stench from a distance. It must have been unbearable. Yet, the father hugged him and kissed his son.
So let’s remember the love of our God, which He illustrated to us by this parable, and be grateful and joyful for God has cleansed us and received us.
- Forgive others
God has forgiven and continues to forgive us. However, it comes with another condition, apart from acknowledging our wrongs and asking God for forgiveness.
We need to forgive everyone who has done anything wrong to us, and should not have unforgiveness in us.
This is because God, in His mercy, has forgiven us by giving His own Son, Lord Jesus, and cleansed us from all sins while we were still sinners.
- Romans 8:5, But God commends his own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (WEB)
In Matthew 18:21-35, Lord Jesus gives a parable of unforgiving servant, to tell us that we should forgive others no matter how serious wrongs done to us, or how difficult it is, because it is still can not be compared to the way that God forgave us, that is, by laying down His own Son to die for sinners like us.
- Matthew 18:35 (NKJV) So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”
The key to having forgiveness in our heart is not about trying our best to convince ourselves or force ourselves to forgive. It is in looking unto God, and realizing how great a sinner each of us are, and that God had given up His Son on our behalf just to forgive us. It cost God, His own Son, Lord Jesus, Who willingly forsook Heaven’s glory, riches, and status, and took our sins, shame, and rejection.
- Philippians 2:7~8
emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being made in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself, becoming obedient to the point of death, yes, the death of the cross (WEB)
If God did for us, and them, we ought to forgive them, just as God forgave us.
We need always to remember that unforgiveness can cost us the eternal life God has prepared for us through Lord Jesus.
- Matthew 18:35 (NKJV) So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”
So we need to pray :
- Remembering God has forgiven us, and thanking God
- Come clean hiding nothing before God, remembering God already knows all things, yet is merciful to forgive us
- Forgiving all others
- Asking God for forgiveness for all our wrongs
When we do this, our enemy (accuser, deceiver), will not have any ground in these to accuse us before our God.